tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3980531981336832789.post2615260758865956202..comments2023-05-11T03:42:43.251-07:00Comments on The Happiest Sad: What to Do?Jill Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077847438322979630noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3980531981336832789.post-28132090286753834802010-03-04T15:20:15.161-07:002010-03-04T15:20:15.161-07:00My husband and I had three sisters in our home who...My husband and I had three sisters in our home who we had planned on adopting through foster care. They had only been with us for a week when the ladies in my neighborhood threw us a HUGE adoption baby shower. I had begged them to wait until it was finalized but they insisted. <br /><br />The adoption baby shower that was thrown for me - for the girls - was so huge it was shocking. I've never seen so many gift bags, cutely wrapped packages, and gift cards. White I was sitting at the baby shower I stared off wondering how long it would be before our girls would become our girls, and if they ever would. I knew they missed their previous foster family dearly. My heart was breaking and rejoicing all at the same time.<br /><br />A couple months passed and a very heart-wrenching long story later we realized that our 3 sweet daughters, our girls, needed to go back to their previous foster family, the family they had grown to love as their own. That was the hardest decision we have ever made and I still miss them, think about them, and cry once in a while even four years later. <br /><br />My mother had also taught me to write thank you cards. But after all that happened I just couldn't do it. I was grateful for everyone's love and support but I couldn't face my loss. I also wondered what I would say in the cards. "Thank you for the karaoke machine. I'm sure the girls are putting it to good use."<br /><br />Don't feel obligated. The ladies in my neighborhood knew that I appreciated everything. They also wanted to help me through my difficult time and probably would have scolded me for worrying about sending thank you cards. People don't give gifts in order to be recognized, they do it to be nice.BobandColistahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11410544909039495631noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3980531981336832789.post-22362118685205583322009-11-08T23:25:46.842-07:002009-11-08T23:25:46.842-07:00I agree. Don't write those thank you notes. ...I agree. Don't write those thank you notes. Those women understand, they don't want you to go through any more pain on their behaf because of some social nicety. <br />Take care of yourself. You have done one of the most unselfish things any human will ever do. Now it is time for some self care and love.<br />(((hug)))Meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07429515503572093034noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3980531981336832789.post-72653427860163752762009-11-06T23:21:10.162-07:002009-11-06T23:21:10.162-07:00Jill, I know you probably don't (at all) want ...Jill, I know you probably don't (at all) want my advice so please don't be offended but I do have some ideas.<br />1st: With all of the gifts you could either pass them on to the adoptive parents, who I bet would be incredibly grateful, I was. That way you would know they would be used by cute little Roo and maybe they wouldn't haunt you so much.<br /><br />Or you could pack them away maybe in special box with a few other special things and have them to pull out on a day you feel like remembering your special time with her. I did this will several things Norma gave to Zad to give him someday. I still pull them out to remind myself what a miracle he is.<br /><br />#2 With the thank you notes you could simply say, "Thank you, your _____ was really appreciated." After all it was, you did appreciate their thoughtfulness and whether you pack them away or pass them on to Roo they still will be appreciated.<br /><br />Or, if it simply too painful don't write them at all. Who cares. This is not about them, it's about what you need right now at a very critical time in your life. Like you said most of them probly already know and getting a thank you note may be just as awkward for them. Besides most people just throw thank you notes away and it's not like they are waiting around for one. If they are, they need to get a life.<br /><br />Anyway, hang in there. I'm sure whatever you do will be great. After all you have made several really great decisions, just look at Roo!Angiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05568465142386447715noreply@blogger.com