tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3980531981336832789.post2937799115135633492..comments2023-05-11T03:42:43.251-07:00Comments on The Happiest Sad: Pants On FireJill Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077847438322979630noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3980531981336832789.post-58277055151309415722010-03-04T14:35:34.791-07:002010-03-04T14:35:34.791-07:00There's nothing wrong with what you said. I h...There's nothing wrong with what you said. I have come to the decision that no one needs to know more than is necessary. Some things are private. You can decide when and to whom you tell your story. <br /><br />One time when we were having a visit with our birth mom at her workplace she introduced my daughter to her co-worker by saying, "This is my daughter." Surprisingly, it didn't make me feel jealous or upset at all. My husband and I looked at each other and smiled. Our birth mother was simply introducing my daughter to her co-worker in such a way that she would understand who the sweet little girl was. She meant nothing by saying it and wasn't trying to hurt anyone. At the time my daughter wasn't old enough to know what was going on.<br /><br />I am very open that we were fortunate enough to adopt our sweet kids. Everyone I know has heard our adoption story. But, there have been times when I've been with a group of ladies who are all talking about their pregnancy issues, labor problems, and all the fun stuff associated with the first months of their babies lives when they turn to me and ask to share my experiences. Most of the time I tell them my adoption story. But, there was a time when I just didn't feel comfortable in sharing our story. I wasn't ashamed or embarrassed, it just wasn't the right time or place. So, I told them what I knew about my kid's first months and said the pregnancies were pretty typical. I wasn't lying. I wasn't hiding. I was choosing who I invite into my family's world. No one needs to know. <br /><br />I remember while my husband and I were looking for a gift for our birth mother the clerk at the store asked us if there was any special occasion for this gift. At first I hesitated in telling her simply because I had received negative comments on "birth mother gifts." One person actually said to me in a bitter voice, "So, you get a baby and the birth mom gets a quilt." I pushed that memory to the side as I stood in front of the clerk and decided to tell her exactly what we were doing. To my surprise she got a huge smile and told me about how her daughter had just placed her daughter with a family. That clerk did everything she could to help us and even gave us a sale price which wasn't supposed to start until that weekend.<br /><br />I think you have to listen to your heart.<br /><br />We were placed with our kids when they were 15 months old and 8 months old. They are both from the states.BobandColistahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11410544909039495631noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3980531981336832789.post-83596264830696100152009-10-29T08:41:01.444-07:002009-10-29T08:41:01.444-07:00Hi, I have looked at your blog a few times now and...Hi, I have looked at your blog a few times now and I am so inspired by your strength.<br /><br />About this post, I do not think you are a liar at all for not mentioning that you placed Roo for adoption nor does it question your belief in adoption. The lady was under the impression that Roo was yours and you probably didn't mention anything so it wouldn't make the lady feel awkward.<br /><br />I am a mother to a baby who was born with heart defects so I look at several heart mom blogs too. For several of them (including me) they never told someone right out when they were asked how the pregnancy was going that their baby was going to be born with heart problems. Sometimes its just easier to not say what you want to to avoid awkward silences, questions, etc. I think the same goes for you in your situation as well. You'll find a way in your own words to tell people about your adoption. And this blog is a start. Everyone who reads this blog knows how you feel about adoption and how you love your baby girl so much!Heather K.https://www.blogger.com/profile/01762712170336409359noreply@blogger.com