... I look at the latest Roo picture I have, and I think: She's healthy. She's happy. She has an eternal family. She is still perfect, the most perfect baby I have ever seen. She has an amazing family, a family I love.
I gave that to her - indirectly, of course. But the perfect, happy Roo who is sealed to her mommy and daddy, is perfectly happy because she is sealed to her mommy and daddy. Maybe she would have been just as happy with me.
But maybe she wouldn't have been. It's not a risk I was willing to take.
She is happy. I will be happy, too, even if I'm only happy for her.
I did a wonderful thing, and no matter how selfish I am sometimes, I was selfless enough when it really counted. I forget that sometimes. That no matter what else happens, I did something pretty amazing once, when it needed to be done. I can't count on other people to remind me, so I'll remind myself.
It doesn't matter if people don't like me. It doesn't matter if they think I'm stupid or mean or a freak or a loser. It doesn't matter what things people might say to me that hurt me or cut me down. I will build myself back up. I will think of Roo, and I will be strong. I am strong. I'm not going to worry if no one else ever says so or thinks so. I will say so. I will think so.
And someday I hope Roo will think so, too.
I love her.