Friday, January 7, 2011

18 Months

Time was, I used to count Roo's age and the time since placement in weeks. I knew the exact number for both, and even if I didn't blog about it I made a mental note each week, and on the 7th and 9th of each month. I don't do that so much anymore. I have to stop and count back these days to figure out the number, and I can't do weeks anymore. It's months, and I get them mixed up. I have to use my fingers to count it out most of the time.

I guess that the more time passes, the less each week is a milestone of sorts. I remember when the 7th was always a big thing for me. I'd have in mind for days ahead of time that Roo was going to be another month older. These days it'll be the 19th or 20th and I'll think, wait, Roo's gotten a little older. But I've been thinking about today for a few days now, because it's a bit more milestone-y than usual.

Roo is 18 months old today! I've always felt like 18 months was sort of the unofficial dividing line between baby and full-fledged toddler. Roo has been toddling like a pro for months now, but it seems like it's only been in the past few weeks that she's really started to seem more grown up. Did I mention she can count to ten? Little genius, my Roo. (Although she gets her genius from her mommy and daddy - they're both very clever people.)

She gets to go to the nursery in church on Sunday. That sort of blows my mind. How did she get to be so big already? I've got this mental block when it comes to Roo getting older. I think that in my mind part of her will always be a baby. I'm always a little surprised by pictures of her, because she always looks older than I expect. It's as though placement slowed her aging in my mind to maybe one month for every three that really pass. When Roo goes to kindergarten, my brain is going to explode.

I don't really have anything deep or insightful to say about the passage of time - only that the world has been a happier, brighter place for 18 months now, and I think that's a pretty awesome thing.


Amy said...

I found the same thing with our son's birthday/ anniversary. The 25th of each month always loomed for the first year, then as time passed I would realize the 25th of any given month was nearly over before I even realized it. Now, 3 years later, the 25th of each month pass like any other date. The only one that matters deeply to me is his actual birthday/ anniversary to which i'll never forget.

I'm glad that life is a brighter place now for you. Time allows for grief work which leads to healing. Happy 18 months Roo!

Sarah Buttenwieser said...

Makes so much sense, the odd compression of time as she grows. I'm glad the anniversaries are getting easier & I have no doubt the world's brighter for Roo being in it. Happy toddlerhood little girl.

ME said...

As a birthmom in a semi-closed adoption, meaning the child doesn't know who I am but I know who the child is, the time can't pass quickly enough. I want them to grow up and ask about me. I want to have a relationship with them. I know I'll never be the real mom but I'd still like to be something important to them. To be there to answer their questions.