Friday, January 15, 2010

Better

I'm feeling better today. I think I just needed to get a little ranting out. I don't do it nearly as often as I used to. I used to be a pity party animal.

What helped me to feel better, I think, was the sight of my temple recommend, signed by my bishop. I'll meet with the stake president in about a week, and then I'll be good to go. I have three temple prep classes left, and I have been reading as many books on the topic as I can get my grubby little paws on (in particular I recommend this one here). I know that my preparation to go to the temple is why I've been having such a rotten time of things lately. I am so blessed to have a loving Father in Heaven to listen to and answer my prayers. I think I've prayed more since having Roo than I have in the rest of my life put together. I'm a better person for it, too.

I've been on both sides of it now, so I can say for a certainty that I'd rather keep God's commandments and be unhappy than be disobedient and think I'm happy. The latter never ends well. With the former, I'm finding, if I'm patient, things will work themselves out in the end. They won't necessarily get easier or better (not right away, anyway) but I feel so much less alone, and I at least have faith that the blessings will come eventually.

Eventually. Some day. When it's right. I've grown to loathe those words. They seem mostly to mean that things are going to stink for the foreseeable future. But again, that's where faith comes in. And I have it in my head that the longer I have to wait for something, the better it's going to be when it comes. I have to go through bad times to appreciate the good.

Kahlil Gibran said, "Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." Eventually, some day, when it's right, I am going to be the happiest woman on earth.

3 comments:

Mr. Thompson and Me said...

My husband and I are currently going through Temple Prep Class too (I'm endowed - he's not) and you are 100% right. It's amazing how hard things get when you are trying to do what is right.

I love the quote by Kahlil Gibran as it is now hanging from my fridge. Thanks for that!

Happiest woman on earth indeed. I hear you on that one! I just have to keep reminding myself that sometimes it's not the destination....but rather the journey...as difficult as that journey so often is.

We'll get there.

Que and Brittany's Adoption Journal said...

I didn't know you were getting ready to receive your own endowment!! I would have sent you a signed copy of my book!! I will still send you one if you don't already have a copy. :)

Thanks for the shout-out, by the way ;)

jgirl said...

I am sooo proud of you and congratulations. =0)