Saturday, December 4, 2010

Formspring Revisited: Brothers and Sisters

Note: this past week has been insanely busy, and I started but never finished six different posts. I plan on finishing them eventually, but I felt bad for neglecting my blog, so I thought I'd post something I wrote a few weeks ago and had floating around in the queue.

It's that time again - time for me to answer a question I've already answered! I'm awesome that way. In case you're wondering, I have considered setting my Formspring up so that whenever I answer a question, it updates my blog. But I don't like the idea of my blog doing anything behind my back. Plus, I usually think of better answers after I've already given answers, and this is another way for me to say exactly what I want to say.

When I answer e-mailed questions on my blog, I paraphrase. I'm going to do a little of that with my Formspring questions, just because sometimes I don't like the way people word things.

How would you feel if Roo's parents adopted again? Would you be upset?

I would never be upset. I wanted Roo to have siblings. I know that a lot of birth moms want their babies to be the first child in the families they place with, so they'll get more attention or whatever. I felt that way at first, but I also worried about my child being sort of the test subject for brand new parents. I know that someone's got to be the guinea pig, but I wasn't sure how I felt about it being my little girl! Also, I wanted siblings for Roo. Many couples who certify to adopt never actually do, and the ones who are blessed with a child have no guarantees that they'll ever end up with more than one child. The thought of Roo being an only child made me sad. When I considered P and M, I liked that they already had a child, because Roo got an instant big sister, and the two of them together are the cutest thing in the world. Even if P and M never do adopt again, Roo and her sister have each other, and they're both adopted, so they have that in common. They're both doubly loved.

So, would I be upset if Roo got a little brother or sister? Just the opposite - I'd be very happy for P and M, and in fact I hope they do adopt again if they want to. I think I'd be a bit sad for them if they wanted to but didn't for whatever reason. I always wanted a little brother or sister, so I would love for Roo to have one or two.

As I said, couples who adopt once have no guarantees they'll adopt again. A such, many couples begin the re-certification process as soon as they possibly can, to give themselves as much time and as many chances as they can to be chosen - and sometimes opportunities to adopt come up before a couple is certified again. I guess that's where my only worry came in, and it's long since past. Although I can't imagine it happening now, I worried for a bit that a chance to adopt again would come up when Roo was still very small, and that as an infant she would have to compete for parental attention with a newborn. But it was only a passing worry, and it passed.

Roo's mom and dad are wonderful parents, and I hope they end up with as many children as they'd like.


CCmomma said...

Loved that post! I told Brielle's birth parents that we are hoping to adopt again and they were super happy about it too. You are right there are no guarantees that couples will adopt a second, third time or more but, there is something to be said for the parents who find different avenues to FIND thier kids besides LDS adoption. I think sometimes people GIVE UP or decide that the wait is too long so, i guess that's the answer. I can't help but think of the many kids in third world countries and in the foster care systems who are DYING for parents like these sweet couples. I always say to couples and friends "God doesn't Care HOW your kids come into your family- He just wants them there. So, if you have to jump through hoops a bit, save more $$$$$, fly to a different country, feel the pains of "maybe/ hopefully ours" through fost- adoption or whatever. God knows you have the Strength to do it. It's just YOUR choice to listen to where He is leading and guiding you in this journey."
You are awesome Jill!

AubreyMo said...

Sorry I've been away so long. Something happened to my reader so I didn't see any updates from you for a while - aka I am uber lame.

I like your stance on this post. I read a book by an author who was an only child of two only children and I can't imagine a life without brothers (well, I don't per say), sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins.

You are amazing. I miss you!