Tuesday, September 1, 2009

October 25th, 2009, 3:47pm

I closed my eyes as I counted out three minutes. It was the longest three minutes of my life.

My heart already knew what the answer was, but my eyes didn’t want to believe it when I saw two pink lines on the pregnancy test. I shook my head and looked again. Still two lines. I sat on the edge of the bathtub for a few minutes, staring at the parallel lines. They didn’t change.

I don’t remember going downstairs or sitting gingerly on the edge of the couch, but I must have done, because that was where I was when my mother got home. She’d been out shopping and I pasted a smile on my face as she showed me the things she’d bought. She chatted about Christmas and the things she wanted to get for my nieces and nephews – her grandchildren.

My smile cracked. I started crying. My mother asked me what was wrong. I shook my head. How could I tell her? How could I say it out loud? I felt sick. I sobbed and sobbed. My mother guessed at the truth.

“Are you pregnant?” she asked.

I nodded. Then she cried, too. We both sat there and cried. I don’t know for how long. She started to talk. I should go to the doctor, she said, to be sure. Then my mother, my dear sweet mother, who must surely have been devastated at my news, forgot herself and did what she could to cheer me up. She started talking about eating more fruit and veggies and going for daily walks together. She told me that everything was going to be all right. I could tell that she believed it, and that helped me to think that maybe she was right.

She also told me I should talk to my bishop. I made an appointment to see him the next week. I can still remember the sick feeling I had as I sat outside his office. But he was so kind, so understanding. His love and support were nearly overwhelming. I’m sure this wasn’t the sort of thing he expected to hear as the bishop of a singles ward. He certainly seemed at a bit of a loss as to what he personally was supposed to do. But he put me in contact with LDS Family Services, and he came to my house to visit me every single month – he still does, in fact.

1 comment:

Havi Andersen said...

I love the fact that your bishop visited you--and continues to. How neat.