Thursday, September 10, 2009


Someone has been praying for me. I can feel it.

Because I feel better. I still miss my baby girl more than I can bear, but I feel calmer. I know she is happy, healthy, loved. P and M are the very best parents. I bet poor Roo hasn't been put down since they got her home.

I sort of regret posting such hysterical things earlier. Although I did feel them and think them, and my feelings are legitimate and important.

But after shouting a few more times at my poor dear mother, I felt like I should check out a few adoption/birth parent blogs, and I did, and I still am, and I feel more calm than I did last night after one-and-a-half Ativan tablets.

Over the past two weeks, as I said goodbye to Roo, I knew that there were a lot of people fasting and praying for me, and I appreciated it. And P and M fasted for me yesterday (see how cool they are?) and I felt calm yesterday because of it.

But I wasn't hysterical yesterday to begin with. Today I was. And then suddenly ... calm. And I know - I KNOW - that it is because I am being prayed for. I don't know who has prayed for me and for my strength and peace, but I know that at least one person has.

Thank you, whomever you are. I still miss my baby, but I feel better. For the first time since last night, I feel almost okay. And I am forever grateful.


Mother of the Wild Boys said...

I'm glad you posted that last post. I know it can be scary to put your feelings out there like that. But that post was honest and real. Thanks for sharing your story.

BobandColista said...

Not only was your last post honest and real it helps adoptive parents see what birth mothers are going through.