Monday, October 12, 2009


I was reading the scriptures last week and I came across this verse - Moses 5 verse 11:

"And Eve, his wife, heard all these things and was glad, saying: Were it not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient."

I read it a few times. It seemed counterintuitive for Eve to be happy. She and Adam have been cast out of Eden. They have sinned against God. But Eve was glad.

As I read it, I saw parallels to my own life. I don't mean to imply that I am as vital or impressive a woman as Eve was, but bear with me here. As I read it, I thought, yes, I have sinned, and there are consequences. But were it not for my transgression, I wouldn't have had Roo, and by extension, P and M wouldn't have had her, either. My life before I met H was very boring and church didn't mean a whole lot to me. It's only been through my journey back to being a worthy member of the church that I have really understood right and wrong, and that I have felt, as Eve did, the joy of redemption.

Before I made mistakes, I didn't fully understand the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I understood it in an abstract sort of way, but I had never had cause to be personally acquainted with its nuances. Now that I have, I can appreciate my Savior so much more. It is only because I have made the mistakes I have that I have the testimony I have now.

Certainly it would have been better for me not to have sinned, and to come to understand the gospel more fully while keeping God's commandments. But our Father in Heaven knows us. He doesn't want us to sin, but He knows that we will, because we are not perfect. So he designed a way for us to be made whole again after we have sinned.

I am not grateful for my sin. But I am grateful for the things it has taught me, and for how much closer I feel to my Savior because of it. There is none of us so lost that we can't repent and become better people. I am so thankful that the Lord can make bitter things sweet, and ugly things beautiful. I made mistakes and I shouldn't have. But because I have - and more importantly because I have learned from them - one of God's precious daughters has a physical body and an eternal family.

And because I had Roo, I found myself wanting to be a better person, and making better choices - for her and for me. I am a better woman, and I have a stronger testimony and a greater love for my Savior. I know the joy of redemption, and it is as powerful and deep as the pain of sin.


jgirl said...

AMEN, AMEN...=0)

Mother of the Wild Boys said...

Awesome, awesome post. I love the parallel between you and Eve. I'd never thought of it that way, you are so insightful (or open to the promptings of the Spirit). :)